Updated: Feb 2, 2021
1/18/21 - Early morning dream - “Reunited at Last”
Considerations for this being the 4th dream of my dream series, “Dark Night of the Soul.”
I’m standing outside of my only house on Liberty Avenue - It’s a sunny day, I feel good and happy to realize that I am at this house - a nostalgic childhood memory and home that I dream about often. My sister Barb and and my brother Mikey are both there with me; we all have new cars. I look around and it’s a summer day, blue skies, sun feels good on my skin. I take notice in my dream just how much this feeling resonates through my body.
My dad comes out of the house and we are taking turns looking at each others cars. Barb is driving a new mustang; Mikey has a sports car, and mine is a used hatchback - one that I had to decide on last minute, or that I just took because it was the first one suggested to me.
I notice the way the house looks; dad’s old Toyota is in the driveway, the junipers line the front yard.
My car isn’t turning over. I try a few times and then get upset at myself that I didn’t spend more time picking out the right car, that I just settled. I get out of the car, which is a dark blue color, and walk towards the front to check out the engine. I am parked just past the driveway, in between dad’s and the neighbors house.
I notice Mikey gets out of his car and starts to walk towards me - he was parked in front of dad’s house, right before the start of the driveway, under the shade of the tree.
I put my hands up and tell him to keep his distance, that I was around friends without masks on recently.
Mikey looks at me, tilts his head slightly and I notice a grin on his face. He says to me, “we’re family” and then embraces me in a huge hug. I am pleasantly surprised by his reaction to me as he had recently expressed to me the opposite reaction; an opposition to my physical affection.
In my waking life, I am currently not speaking with my brother Michael. We have a tense relationship due to what is going on with COVID. I believe this all started when I went to Mexico back in late November. Mikey and my cousin Mandy found out from my mom that Jay, my boyfriend, and I decided to go to Mexico; I didn’t get to share this news and as a result, I received a long text from them asking me to quarantine which was already a part of my plan. Things snowballed from there; I could feel their judgement about my decisions, both energetically and from the words they would use in conversation, that they were not happy about my choice. Mikey even used the word “reckless” when reflecting on my behaviors. I think this moment, having them find out about my trip without it being from me, created some trust issues between us. Since then, there has been a narrative that I am anything but transparent. Mikey even saw my car parked outside of Travis’s house and called me to ask if I was inside his house (at the time, I was sitting in Santa Rosa at Nova’s house, in her backyard, by myself, wearing a mask while everyone else was inside). I was triggered by his behavior and saw him acting like some crazy ex-partner, stalking me. That was the last time we spoke and I got angry and upset. I did reach out to him via text after and apologized, expressed my love and was hoping we could just move forward, but alas, here we are, still not speaking.
I even saw him the other day at the park. I showed up to set up my line and he was already there with his long line. I saw him in the distance, and was on the phone with my best friend and business partner Vanessa for awhile. I waved but I’m not sure if Mikey saw me. We never spoke or made any efforts to acknowledge one another. It was deeply saddening; the one passion that brought us closer together, the one thing we shared a love for more than anything wasn’t enough to reconnect us. This day at the park was the same day that I had this dream. I don’t believe in coincidences and found it very telling that after having this dream, the universe brought us together, even though we were at a distance; I reflected on this event for days. How do we come back together?