In these anxious moments when I feel as though I want to crawl out of my own skin and reset everything that feels familiar so when I enter back in I feel anew, I know it is time to slow down and breathe. What I am seeking cannot be solved from the outside, and even that statement in of itself is a trick, an illusion, because the outside IS a mirror of the inside. To view them as separate continues the cycle of divisive and dualistic living. “So,” I say to myself, “what to do?” Write. Just write it out.
As I sit in the sanctity of Who I Am, I am reminded of the pure, perfect essence of my Soul. I am worthy of all the abundance and Love in this world because I am made from that - Love.
Conflicts arise when I begin to think and feel into the unrest of the outside world - ‘how can I be a problem solver? How can I have a positive impact? How can I be of service?’
And I am reminded that the ways in which I view the outside world; what I see and how I experience the outside is a reflection of the inside; my reality and how I live in it is a result of past thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Solving the world's problems starts from within. It begins with me Loving myself - fully and completely surrendering with grace to Who I Am in this Now moment, while also holding a vision of integrity, knowing there is work to be done yet.
So, what do I want?
To heal the illusion of separateness.
To feel whole, perfect, and complete in this physical body which is a manifestation of my spirit, and thus a part of the All.
To open myself to another, knowing and trusting that the ideal match of heart resonance is mirrored somewhere out there in the universe. And with the ‘other,’ continue growing, learning, laughing and living
To know and be, without a doubt and unabashedly my Self; that my voice is worthy to be heard, my story is meant to be shared because it tells a tale that is woven through All, as we are all connected.
Now is the time.
What you are experiencing in your Being, perceived very strongly through the physical, is real. Trust in your feelings and your experience. Your Beliefs, your Truths, without the presence of Doubt, Create your Reality. Although you seek to be seen by others, the magic of your power to create reality comes from within. You must Be present with your thoughts and feelings knowing full well that they can create/manifest anything.
Your Body has an ancient wisdom of the Earth which itself has evolved greatly over the millions of “years” - as perceived linearly, all time exists in the Now moment. As we expand inwards in our own consciousness, the Earth, the Universe expands as well. Your physical Body will evolve as well and has, and will so at great rates that would take decades of research and acceptance among the mass majority of culture to be Truth. So Trust your Truth of this great wisdom and in your Belief, you will witness your Body do miraculous things. This is the magic - you learn this magic/medicine/Beingness connected with Soul and Earth Body - Spirit and Matter - the Divine Key in this form, Spirit has the ability to co-create with matter more so now than ever before.
What is it that I am facing, it feels very deep?
Yes, this is your Will to Live, to accept the Earthly flow of Water. The most Yin element on this planet into your Being as this is how you create - this is your Fore and its one of your original lesions, a conflict first acquired in womb space as this is not only yours (it's never just ours as we are all connected, just with different angels to the crystal, different variations of connections to those in our life).
Remember, we create our own reality; we energetically create situations through thoughts and experiences that reflect our inner journey so we can experience ourselves as self and Self, and move towards wholeness through healing (Heal = Whole). And we become identified with the experiences we have in this manifestation, for a beneficial reason, number one being our connection to Life on this Planet and the vehicle of the body, but also to become more connected with our Soul. The Body is a portal, like a two way mirror that reflects areas of the Soul where there has been disconnected from God, also reflected within the Body, and includes ancestral conflicts as our Body is made of water and water has the most complex and vast memory system of any other element on this Plant.
We chose to be born in our families - we carefully and with intention chose and will continue to choose our experiences, both consciously and unconsciously, however part of the learning is to become familiar with the unconscious contents, curious and humble like a child - open heart, fully present for whatever arises, ready to learn, mostly importantly though is to feel whatever arises. If not, this is how energy from a conflict remains in the body and thus dis-ease arises. But this is something that is changing our perception and relationship to dis-ease and the Body. You are learning/remembering to trust your Body as she is a direct reflection of Earth - watch and Be with Mother Nature - see how she responds, adapts and goes with her flow, knowing how to regulate and harmonize, equanimously prepared.
Dis-ease is starting to be viewed as a conversation starter with the Body - I say this to you in a funny way because its like a friend you’ve been totally forgetting to call and yet will still pick up when you finally decide to phone. Your Body, no matter how advanced the stage of ‘Recovery/healing phase’ - this is when we experience the Body respond with fever, aches, bleeding, pus, etc, if you start a conversation that is open, curious like a child, and honor the innate intelligence of this vessel, it will respond. Slow down enough, every day, and check in with your Friend. Ask her what she needs, ask her to provide you with clarity. Slow and steady.
Be still and know.